


under the moonlight (i'm all yours)

by sanghyuks



Category: VIXX
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Alternate Universe - Werewolf, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-09
Updated: 2016-01-12
Packaged: 2018-04-30 21:09:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5179754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanghyuks/pseuds/sanghyuks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>to taekwoon, the concept of soulmates isn't hard to accept. but the fact that sanghyuk is his—yeah, that’s a little harder to grasp.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

it's late and it's dark but the bonfire lights everything up. perhaps not the gaping hole in taekwoon's heart—the awful swell of emptiness that seems to consume his entire body—but it makes most of the forest bright, the lake-house, too. the moon and it’s electric swell of ivory manages to illuminate whatever the flames cannot.

yet still there's an eerie darkness to it all, shades and shadows and contours to the trees and gaps where animals can hide amongst the grass, and taekwoon, no matter how much he hates parties like this—places and people like this—he feels at home.

but that's mostly because of the smell of the pine surrounding them, the crackle of the bonfire, the chatter of the wildlife among leaves, and the creaking sound of the canopy swaying in the barely-there wind. almost instantaneously taekwoon’s blood settles, his wolf settling inside him.

this is where he belongs, taekwoon thinks, breathing in fresh autumn air, where he’s always belonged—in the woods.

hakyeon slides up next to taekwoon, alone on his log and a few metres away from the raging bonfire. others chatter endlessly away around him, so taekwoon isn’t entirely alone—but he feels it, wants to be.

they’re others like them—wolves, animals, _beasts_ —each relishing in the moonlight that's almost full and drinking themselves into a stupor taekwoon doesn't believe they know that they'll feel come morning.

"hey, woonie," hakyeon says, voice too pleasant—too happy—for taekwoon to take seriously as the elder nudges his side. he doesn't smile at the nickname, but turns his head too look, shifting a few inches away when hakyeon comes only a little too close.

taekwoon can smell the alcohol on hakyeon's lips—only just—and the he looks down for a second at the dark green bottle of liquor in hakyeon’s hand, resting comfortably in his lap. _soju?_ he wonders, sniffing a little.

taekwoon wets his lips, bringing his eyes back up and reminding himself that no matter how shitty he feels and how much he doesn't want to be here, he doesn't drink—well, _shouldn't_ drink.

"what do you want, hakyeon?" taekwoon asks, blood singing loud in his ears as the wolf inside howls and paws his confines in the form of taekwoon's skin.

there's a want, now, lingering in his belly and blood as his eyes drop back down, a want for one of the bottles that sits between hakyeon's fingertips. taekwoon shouldn’t want it—alcohol like this. but maybe it will take off the edge, make his muscles loosen and his mind flit. he wonders, wolf whining a little, if it can make him forget.

then again maybe it won't. maybe it won't make taekwoon feel better—maybe it'll only make him feel worse.

(taekwoon reminds himself that there's no way possible that he could feel _worse_.)

hakyeon shifts closer before taekwoon can ask where the bottles are, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and pulling him in. his hold is hardly strong, but taekwoon doesn't protest anyway, despite the fact that he detests it, because he knows it's all just part of hakyeon's attempt to make him feel that little bit better—a little less shitty than he does right now.

too bad the only thing that could possibly make him feel a little less shitty would be the thing that's making him feel shitty in the first place.

taekwoon hates how life is stupid and ironic like that. unnecessarily problematic because taekwoon certainly didn't ask for this.

"i want you to smile, woonie," hakyeon replies with a grin, using his arm to push taekwoon around like a toy. he doesn't know why he allows it this time. "we're at a party, where there's plenty of people and plenty of alcohol to make you forget sang—" hakyeon halts, and the silence is almost deafening—if not for the cackle of the fire and the chatter of the pack.

the elder's face falters, but he recovers quick enough, brushing off his slip-up like it never happened. taekwoon admires that about him.

"c'mon, woonie." hakyeon smiles, hardly skipping a beat when his hands find taekwoon's and he tugs him up as he rises. "let's go inside, hey? we can get you a drink and then we can have fun. just the two of us."

hakyeon pulls him along, hand locked around taekwoon's wrist, past the pack members who sit around the fire and past the dock on the lake with a little boat tied to it. as they step closer to the house, the crackle of the fire grows softer, and the sound from the party inside grows louder.

it's almost deterring, taekwoon thinks, the sound and the awful smell of alcohol and sex. he follows hakyeon up to the deck, and then inside. music pounds loud, thumping inside his chest like a second heartbeat, and people flit in every part of the house they can find. it's mostly college kids, a few high school seniors—all but wonshik and jaehwan unknown to him—but taekwoon doesn't fit in here, doesn't belong.

he belongs outside, where he can smell the pine and the oil of burning wood, where he can feel the chill of the wind against his skin—where his wolf belongs, where he can howl and run free.

cooped up inside, shoved between bodies, taekwoon feels out of place. it's all too close, too much. some smell like wolf—like the pack—and some don't. despite, taekwoon ignores them all, sniffing in indignation as he moves through them all.

 _these wolves have forgotten who they are,_ he thinks, frowning as he follows hakyeon throughout the house. with the feeling of claustrophobia climbing up his neck, taekwoon reaches out, tugging on hakyeon's wrist to pull him to a pause. the older spins softly around, a single brow cocked in question.

"can we get out of here," taekwoon says, voice small and quiet and swarmed further by the sound of the music. "please?"

hakyeon stays silent for a second, considering. then he smiles, shaking his head with a roll of his eyes and turning back around to press back on through the lake house. taekwoon almost losses him in the crowd, but manages to follow.

when hakyeon stops walking, in the kitchen, taekwoon almost bumps right into him, not expecting the stop. hakyeon fiddles with something—glass or metal, perhaps—and spins around quickly.

taekwoon was right; there's a pair of drinks in his hand when he looks at him, bottles misty and cold. hakyeon grins.

"now we can go."

 

+

 

they find a place back beside the bonfire, tucked away behind everyone else, lingering further from the rest because everything feels just a little too hot for taekwoon. his body flushes and he wonders why, breath quickening a bit as he presses the small of his back to a pine tree and slips down to rest on cool grass beneath.

an agitated edge rises inside him, wolf pacing and growling impatiently, and taekwoon wonders why. he knows better than to brush off the instinct that something’s up, something’s happening but taekwoon does anyway.

hakyeon pops both caps off the bottles blind, and passes one to taekwoon. he knows he shouldn’t drink—he’ll do something stupid—especially this close to the full moon, with so little control already, the last thing taekwoon should be doing is taking a gulp of soju from the bottle in his hand.

he does anyway, and this time, taekwoon’s run out of excuses to convince himself with. and even after all that’s happened, he’s still far too hard on himself.

hakyeon, knowing how bad taekwoon is with any sort of liquor, should have stopped him. he should have stopped him coming to this party in the first place, really.

because all taekwoon wants is to be back in his apartment, and finishing off his assignment for musical history.

well, he wants it if he tries hard enough.

but if taekwoon’s honestly it himself, really, all he wants is to stop hurting, and then taekwoon realises that hakyeon may know him better than he ever expected.

taekwoon decides to himself that tonight is the night can allow himself to indulge in these human festivities and let himself slip away. even if only for a moment, even if it never lasts. by this point he doesn’t even care—the thought somewhat thrilling and somewhat terrifying.

it takes one sip of soju, then two, then three, then four more, to get taekwoon well past tipsy. his mind is beginning to slur, limbs beginning to droop. hakyeon is staring straight at him, eyebrows tilted and taekwoon can’t quite tell if he's smiling or smirking.

he looks strangely proud of himself, like this—getting taekwoon drunk—was his entire intention. taekwoon pouts at the idea; something like betrayal pulses in his body. but with the warmth sating his limbs and softening his mind, he can’t be completely sure.

he looks to the ground, the hand not wrapped around his bottle fisting into the grass and pulling blades of grass out. the smell of fresh broken stems flit into taekwoon's nose, mixing with the pine and making his wolf hum pleasantly. it almost stops pacing for moment, and taekwoon realises he’s been so drunk he hasn't even noticed the whines inside his head.

“hey, woonie,” taekwoon looks up as soon as he hears his name, meeting hakyeon’s soft gaze. “feeling better?”

he nods happily, closing his eyes to relish the soft, cold wind on his face. taekwoon realises he must be really drunk now, because he finds the nickname strangely endearing and kind of cute.

because, god, everything just feels so good. well, except for him. he feels like shit. absolutely total shit—still. even after his unless attempt of getting drunk taekwoon still feels absolutely fucking awful.

it’s all sanghyuk’s fault, and taekwoon wants to hate him for the way he feels sick and useless and unneeded—hate him for the way he abandoned him—but taekwoon could never hate sanghyuk.

not even if he tried.

“i feel… very, _very_ nice,” taekwoon replies, nodding some more just in case hakyeon can’t see. “my heart hurts a little, and my wolf is sad, but i suppose don’t feel like crying over sanghyuk right now.” taekwoon almost grins, a little proud of himself, too—for what, he doesn’t know.

he’s slightly aware of the fact that this might just be one of the longest things he’s ever said in his entire history of knowing hakyeon, and when more words press at his lips, taekwoon purses them.

sympathy fills hakyeon’s eyes to the brim, making the chocolate in them swell, and his smile softens, almost sadly. he shifts a little closer to taekwoon in the grass, placing a warm hand over his. taekwoon’s eyes follow the movement dumbly.

“it’ll be okay. i know you think he hates you, but sanghyuk’s just young, woonie,” hakyeon states. even in his blissed-out state, taekwoon can hear how hakyeon wants to believe it himself, but the words fizzle away in his mind, utterly useless. “he likes you, and it’s painfully obvious. he just needs some time.”

taekwoon pulls his hand away, and a chuckle—more like a scoff, really—breaks the purse of his lips.

“h-hakyeon… you have no idea what you’re talking about.” taekwoon laughs some more, because the idea of sanghyuk ever liking him—sanghyuk ever liking the idea of _being_ with him—is utterly absurd. “you should have seen him pull away, yeonnie, should have seen the fucking _fear_ in his eyes when he realised. when we both realised.”

taekwoon shifts, resting up against a protruding root of the pine. he looks up to the sky, feeling a pull from the moon above, wondering if the reason his eyes blur are from the soju or the tears beginning to brim.

“he hates me, yeonnie,” taekwoon sobs, and, yeah, they're tears all right. “i— i didn't even mean to kiss him. it just… he invited me over to watch an anime with him and… all i could think about was how cute he looked, wrapped up in that sweater with the most beautiful smile i had ever seen.” taekwoon smiles fondly at the memory like he’ll never see it again (and maybe he won’t).

he looks down from the navy landscape above to his best friend; hakyeon—there’s a tear in his eye, too, because even though he hasn't found his yet, he knows well enough that mates are the most important part of a wolf’s life. as important as a place in a pack—mates were where you belonged.

and the fact that taekwoon’s might just hate him is something akin to death.

“i didn’t mean to, because how the hell was i suppose to know that the fucking bond reacts to a kiss?” taekwoon scoffs bitterly, tearing out another bunch of grass, roots and all. he tosses it past them both, sending pieces of dirt flying and hakyeon flinches just slightly.

taekwoon can’t blame him. he doesn't even know why hakyeon’s still sitting here, listening to him complain. it wasn’t hakyeon’s problem that some fucking soulmate bond reacted even after almost a year—to the stupidest thing ever, too, in taekwoon’s opinion.

“he ran, you know. even though it was _his_ dorm and we sitting on _his_ bed and it was _me_ kissing him, _he_ ran. i waited behind for hours, too, waited so long for sanghyuk to come back until his stupid roommate said he’d called the cops if i didn't leave.” taekwoon growls, a low, animalistic hiss that hakyeon’s never heard in his life—that no one’s heard in their life—because taekwoon never growls.

despite the fact that he’s an alpha and it should be natural to him by now, it isn’t. maybe it’s a sign he not a very good alpha, but maybe it’s just a sign of how intimidating he really looks.

taekwoon couldn't care less what it is.

and he swears to himself that if that roommate wasn't a human, whimpering and shaking in his shoes, he would have taught the boy a lesson about subordination, but the kid was human, and all taekwoon could do was leave, his growl masked under his breath and his frustration bottled away. that only left room for the panic to bubble up, though; taekwoon didn’t end up getting much sleep that night.

sanghyuk’s stupid human didn't stop him from going back the next day, though, and the next. and it certainly didn't stop him from texting and calling sanghyuk’s phone.

“he just disappeared after that,” taekwoon continues, the buzz from the soju still working inside to make him all warm and pliant. he doesn't have the effort to purse his lips anymore. “and i called him, too, but all i got was hongbin—hongbin telling me that sanghyuk needed space and to _stay away_.”

hakyeon stiffens, and taekwoon meets his eye; he knows what he’s thinking—how dare a beta order an alpha—but all taekwoon does is shrug uselessly, shifting his gaze and swiping another gulp of soju to mask the sound of the sob that breaks from his throat.

hakyeon shifts closer, ready to reach for taekwoon and to pull him into what taekwoon expects is a hug, but the younger resists, pulling away and feeling a stupid pinch of rebellion.

“i did it for sanghyuk,” he admits after a few seconds of silence, and any other time, something like this would be seen as weak for an alpha—an embarrassing confession no one should ever here—but now, it’s the most powerful thing he could have done. “everything from now on, it’s all for sanghyuk.” taekwoon whispers it like he's scared, like he’s already reserved himself to this fate.

and maybe he has—reserved himself to the fate of an alpha who has a mate who’ll never love him back.

hakyeon sips slowly on his soju, shifting back, head nodding as he thinks.

the air around them falls back into silence, all save for the fire and the forest, the occasional hoot of an owl and the odd crack of a branch here and there. taekwoon is surprised that he hasn't heard the familiar howl of a wolf yet, but the night is still young.

hakyeon to rest a hand on taekwoon’s shoulder, warm and soothing even though it’s not the hand he wants.

“sanghyuk likes you, taekwoon. i know you feel like he doesn't and that you think he hates you, but sanghyuk could never hate you.” hakyeon smiles at taekwoon softly. “you and i both know that. that boy has been infatuated ever since he came here.”

taekwoon feels a smile tug at his lips, because hakyeon is right, despite everything. he’d always liked sanghyuk, too, always favoured him just that little bit more. let him get away with teasing comments and nicknames (“woonie-ah.”) and silly touches and everything.

but the image of sanghyuk’s fearful eyes press through, burnt into the back of taekwoon’s mind, forever engrained, and the thoughts falter.

maybe taekwoon didn’t know sanghyuk just as well as he thought he did.

taekwoon sighs and takes another gulp of the soju—though he’s left high and dry as the last few drops slide down his throat almost depressingly. he sighs once more, tossing the empty glass aside for the darkness to have.

hakyeon looks at him softy, “c’mon, woonie.” he rises, fingers grasping around taekwoon’s wrists and tugging him up even though the younger resists. “you’re far too stubborn. you and sanghyuk both. more soju should help with that.”

taekwoon doesn’t like the fact that hakyeon’s plan to make him feel better about sanghyuk includes getting alcohol poisoning, but by this point he’s too far into his buzz to reject the proposal.

 

+

 

taekwoon shouldn’t have expected anything to change about the state of the lake-house and it doesn’t—only when he walks in he doesn’t feel overwhelmed and sick like last time, he feels at peace, the scent of the woods and something else, something strange, playing tricks in his nose and his mind both.

perhaps it’s just because of the fact that they’ve been sitting outside for the past half-an-hour, or maybe it’s just because the doors to the deck are wide open and the wind has picked up.

taekwoon shrugs, not really caring, following hakyeon again because he could care less about this house and this party.

it’s harder to concentrate on a single figure when you’re half drunk, taekwoon realises. harder to keep just them in view in the sea of moving bodies and blurred images because everything is starting to spin as it is.

somehow, they manage to reach the kitchen, but taekwoon is starting to feel drowsy. he wonders offhandedly if he’s that much of a lightweight, but hakyeon is abandoning him for the fridge before he can answer himself.

the island of the kitchen has a couple kissing upon it, and taekwoon wrinkles his nose at them. not to his surprise, they don’t notice the alpha, to busy caught up in each others bodies to care about anyone else.

hakyeon makes a noise, a growl of disapproval, and slams the door of the fridge shut. he spins around, “we have to go the the garage; there’ll be more drinks there anyway.”

he walks brusquely past taekwoon, brushing shoulders, and the younger follows like a lost cub. a drunken cub.

he and hakyeon make it to the staircase before being stopped in their place by two figures coming the opposite way.

“hakyeon! taekwoon!”

wonshik’s voice somehow rises above the chaos of the music, and he and hakyeon embrace before they step back. jaehwan is even louder when he greets them, and his smile even wider.

to taekwoon, they both smell like alcohol, but then again, everyone does.

“hyung,” wonshik directs at a barely-focused taekwoon, brow raised, “i didn’t think parties were your thing. didn’t think you’d show up.”

taekwoon shrugs. “they’re not.”

“i managed to convince him,” hakyeon butts in, looking between the both of them. “anyone else here?”

jaehwan is barely concentrating; there’s a girl in the sitting room he has his eyes on, and it seems she has her eyes on him, too, taekwoon notices. his head spins quickly, feigning focus. “hongbin was here before… i don’t know where he went.”

suddenly the girl dancing in the sitting room isn’t enough for jaehwan; he’s glancing around frantically, pushing himself up on his toes and calling out hongbin’s name.

taekwoon stiffens just slightly, mind racing. hakyeon stops too, noticing taekwoon’s panic.

“anyone else?” his eyes are wide as he glances between wonshik and jaehwan, voice barely rising above the speakers.

wonshik brushes a hand through his hair, shrugging. “i think sanghyuk was with him. jaehwan? was sanghyuk with hongbin when you saw him before?”

taekwoon is all ears—all ears and all panic and his limbs are stiff but waiting to be used like bow ready to be sprung. his breath is racing, too, and everything is just too hot in this hose.

jaehwan isn’t paying attention at all. “yeah, he was here. looked really worried, too.” the boy chuckles. “must really hate parties, i suppose.”

taekwoon is shaking, his heart racing, and everything is too much. no. sanghyuk couldn't be here—he couldn’t. taekwoon would smell him otherwise. the pine and the breeze and the… _home_.

oh, _fuck_.

taekwoon spins around quickly, panting for air in this house because there’s none left at all. he tries to move, to get out of this place as fast as he can, but he can’t. he just fucking can’t. hakyeon follows him as he stumbles and fumbles for purchase on the hand-railing of the staircase, and instead pulls the younger away, letting him lean on his shoulder as they move.

hakyeon is mumbling words and sentences but there’s static blaring far too loud in taekwoon’s head for him to hear.

he think’s he hears a sorry, and then his name, but he can’t really be sure at this point.

clothing and colours are flashing past quickly, and he can feel the fresh breeze of outside, smell the fire and the lake and the grass and he’s almost out.

only something—something tall and lithe and strangely familiar—is pushing him ten steps back. hakyeon slips, lost in the crowd, and taekwoon is left to fend for himself.

fend for himself in front of the one thing he’s trying to run from, he realises, as his eyes run over the high cheekbones, soft chestnut hair and tall figure before him.

time halts, and taekwoon only wishes his breath wouldn’t.

“s-sanghyuk.”

“h-hyung.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> • i fckin lov werewolf au's too much  
> • alternatively titled: sanghyuk n taekwoon are fckin idiots n their friends are fucking absolute cockblocks.


	2. Chapter 2

sanghyuk halts in an instant, shoulders going taut. tension crackles across the air, sanghyuk notices taekwoon stiffening too, the alpha’s eyes widening considerably and flashing gold under the lights. 

people pass around them and between them, like blind little mice, but their eyes slash through the crowded mix of wolf and human as if the bodies are less than nothing, gazes uniting like they only have eyes for each other.

and sanghyuk would think it romantic, except for the searing swell of absolute terror bold and bright in his alpha’s eyes visible even from the few metres away where he stands. a pang of disappointment bubbles away in his gut.

but sanghyuk tells himself that he shouldn't be disappointed; taekwoon doesn't owe him anything, especially not the love that sanghyuk desires.

his wolf whines, pawing at it’s constraints in the form of sanghyuk’s skin, and sanghyuk only just manages to rein it in. he tries to communicate that taekwoon doesn’t want them, that taekwoon will never love them, but that only seems to make the animal more determined.

sanghyuk should’ve expected this—as an extension of self, one’s wolf was merely unbridled, self-indulgent emotions all rising up to obtain one’s want—but that doesn't stop him cursing it anyway.

sanghyuk breathes, refraining from allowing the sob in his throat to break free because all he wants is taekwoon, taekwoon, taekwoon. and taekwoon, staring back at him with his body frozen and eyes dancing with so many emotions sanghyuk ends up drowning in the attempt to pinpoint one, doesn’t want sanghyuk, sanghyuk, sanghyuk. 

the younger wants to crumble to his knees under the gaze, even if its not the one of adoration that he wants. he doesn't know what sort of gaze this is, whether taekwoon is angry or sorry or upset, all he knows is that he should obey it. sanghyuk’s not an alpha—not even a beta—and he should bow down to his alpha. he should. by allowing him to just fucking stand there like an inadequate little pup, taekwoon is allowing him to break tens of unspoken pack laws. 

sanghyuk wonders why, but then again, taekwoon’s never been the loud, disciplinary type of alpha.

suddenly, cutting through everything else, taekwoon shifts an arm forward, like he’s reaching for something unattainable. “h-hyukkie?” despite the music and the chatter the words, however soft they are, aren't swallowed by the sound around them, only by sanghyuk, and it breaks him.

taekwoon’s voice tears him apart inside, soft and careful, the use of his nickname almost bringing tears to his eyes, and finally, sanghyuk places what those golden eyes are filled with: apology, and he flinches.

taekwoon, too, recoils, hand returning to his side, and sanghyuk’s heart throbs.

he wants to move, step forward and do something, but it’s not his place. he may be taekwoon’s mate, but not by choice, even if taekwoon’s the only option he’d choose.

and then, sanghyuk realises, it’s just them. 

there’s still people, but somehow, the bodies become nonexistent to them both. sanghyuk still wants to call out for hongbin, though, because his stomach is doing flips inside him and taekwoon is mere metres away and his wolf is about to burst free and claim a mate who doesn't want him. 

despite the fact that he's twenty—that he’s an adult now and has been for just more than a year—this is the kind of situation that reduces him back to feeling like a fifth grader.

sanghyuk’s limbs race with blood and adrenaline, and he doesn’t know what to do. 

but taekwoon breaks him from his trance, moving again, chest vibrating with a breath and feet carefully shifting the slightest centimetre forward, and that’s when his wolf and the adrenaline both kick in like a slap to the face.

sanghyuk bolts, and taekwoon follows.

 

+

 

he used to believe that it was all a myth—that alpha’s were stronger and faster, better. when he was young he used to just think that was something they whispered to keep the pack in line; when he got older he thought that it was to make alpha’s seem untouchable, on a row higher than the rest.

now, sprinting through the wood and away from everything that can save him, sanghyuk realises that it’s all utter bullshit. that alpha’s are better, faster, stronger. 

because he had a lead on taekwoon by seconds, and now the alpha is right behind him, not even metres away. sanghyuk can hear his breath and almost his heartbeat. if the alpha reaches forward, sanghyuk fears he’ll reach his shoulder, and he pushes himself faster.

the wind chaps sanghyuk’s face and rummages through his hair and his mind is a litany of run, run, run, but also taekwoon, taekwoon, taekwoon.

sanghyuk curses himself for being so obsessed—like a teenager, a child—and keeps on running.

he prays that if he ignores the pull, it’ll go away, but sanghyuk has little faith in mere prayers anymore. 

they’re both fit—sanghyuk and his dancing, taekwoon and his soccer—and he realises quickly that all this running is a simply race. a race to see who looses first. sanghyuk will be damned if it’s him, but he seriously doubts an alpha will give up, especially an alpha like taekwoon. soon he’s going to tire, that much is inevitable, because he's only half animal, but then again so is taekwoon.

the trees sway and groan, swinging to get a closer look at the wolves sprinting past, and the lake ripples somewhere in the darkness. 

sanghyuk can hardly see in front of him, but he bounds over a low branch and ducks under another and he wonders how much forest there is left to run through. 

this really wasn't a smart move, and his heartbeat pumps, loud and fierce in his ears.

running from his problems was the first mistake, the second: said problem could possibly hold out longer than him. no, sanghyuk tells himself, said problem could hold out longer than him.

leaves begin to brush his legs and his arms and soon his head and sanghyuk wonders how far they really are from the lake-house because he can't hear anything but his own breath and taekwoon’s.

taekwoon is gaining, sanghyuk slowing, and while the alpha’s breaths are becoming sharper, sanghyuk’s are becoming thicker and harder to force, his muscles screaming underneath his jeans. his eyes flutter shut for a second, and that’s just the moment he misses sight of the log metres before him and where to jump.

sanghyuk goes tumbling, and taekwoon’s hands are quick and warm on his skin as the darkness seeps faster in.

 

+

sanghyuk groans.

“you’re awake.”  
his eyes flutter quickly open at the sound of taekwoon’s voice, and sanghyuk pushes himself up against the pillows and the headboard of a bed that certainly doesn't belong to him. 

pain throbs in his ankle and his skull. he can only just feel his wolf as it shuffles around inside his mind.

taekwoon is rising up, too, from an armchair in the corner of the room they’re locked in, and he's moving forward, reaching for sanghyuk, but that only makes sanghyuk more determined to get away.

the alpha is much too quick, reaching out and grasping his wrists—one is wrapped in a bandage; taekwoon cradles it more carefully than the other—even as sanghyuk jerks himself away. pain shoots up his injured arm. 

taekwoon notices sanghyuk wincing, and he halts. “sanghyuk, stop moving. you’re hurt.” his voice is carful and soft and washing over sanghyuk in a way that he adores, but he hates the misleading tones of tenderness he can detect within it.

“let go of me.” 

it’s a useless struggle, and sanghyuk allows taekwoon control even as he protests. taekwoon shifts forward on the bed, long fingers still wrapped around sanghyuk’s wrists, and he carefully subdues the younger, placing his arms by his sides and holding sanghyuk there. the younger can hardly move, but that’s what taekwoon wants.

his eyes sweep over sanghyuk’s face, concern etched in his lips and the crinkles of his eyelids. sanghyuk’s heart clenches.

“what?” 

taekwoon keeps staring, and his gaze settles on sanghyuk’s forehead for a second before he meets his eyes. 

“you have a concussion. from the fall,” he says. taekwoon looks down to sanghyuk’s wrist, the bandaged one that his fingers are gently rubbing circles into. “also you sprained your wrist, twisted your ankle, and you bruised your shins.” there’s something about his voice, sanghyuk can hear it, something indicating that taekwoon is displeased. with what, he's not entirely sure. 

perhaps maybe sanghyuk’s utter immaturity—the fact that he quite literally ran from his problems. or perhaps taekwoon’s just irritated that he has to look after an injured pup.

“i’m sorry,” sanghyuk says, and taekwoon glances up from sanghyuk’s arm. 

confusion is clear across his striking features—the ones sanghyuk’s always secretly admired—and taekwoon’s lips purse. “what do you have to be sorry for?”  
sanghyuk avoids taekwoon’s eyes by throwing his gaze to his lap, but he can feel the stare. “that you have to spend your day looking after me. a stupid pup.”

realisation flashes gently across taekwoon. he stiffens next to sanghyuk slightly, looking down.

“i’m not annoyed because i have to look after you, hyuk-ah,” he states. “i’m annoyed because you hurt yourself. i’m annoyed that it was mostly my fault. i’m sorry, sanghyuk. i didn't mean to hurt you like this.”

sanghyuk is uncomfortable with the apology, even more so with the gaze taekwoon gives him. it’s concerned and attentive—so, so sorry. it’s a look meant for someone special, and he, despite being taekwoon’s mate, isn't anyone special.

he’s just a friend.

a part of him bitterly wonders if taekwoon would be this caring if he knew the truth of sanghyuk’s feelings. probably not. taekwoon probably wouldn't even be in the same room with him. 

somehow, the alpha seems to sense his discomfort, shifting a little so he’s closer. one of his hands is still drawing circles into sanghyuk’s skin, reassuringly, and sanghyuk knows he’s going to be forever marked with the feeling of it. 

a part of him wants to speak up, tell taekwoon to stop, to leave, because it’s driving him half mad. but sanghyuk is easy to admit that he likes this too much to kill it. it’s all he has at this point; even if his affection and adoration isn't reciprocated, a part of him can always remember this. 

the caring and the warmth. sanghyuk will never forget. taekwoon might.

so sanghyuk relishes it while he has it. his wolf does too, proud and pleased that their mate is there with them, a gentle, content hum within sanghyuk’s mind and his chest.

sanghyuk doesn't actually realise that he’s smiling—and has been for a few moments now—until taekwoon is too. until taekwoon is murmuring under his breath and until he is reaching forward for sanghyuk with an outstretched hand. until all this tenderness suddenly becomes just too much for his heart to bear.

sanghyuk flinches before taekwoon’s hand makes contact.

taekwoon stops too. he says nothing. does nothing.

not until his eyes narrow, and he sucks in a breath.

“you,” taekwoon says, and sanghyuk recognises the accusation, faint in his tone, but there nonetheless, “you’re scared of me.”

he recoils back a little—they both do. sanghyuk’s eyes crinkle softly shut, a useless attempt to save himself of whatever aftermath comes. nothing does—it leaves instead, taekwoon’s fingers loosening around his arm and he pushes himself back. the bed creaks, and it’s instinct that has sanghyuk reaching out for taekwoon’s hand again. 

he doesn't find the warmth he craves; taekwoon is too far back, almost halfway down the bed now, and something like sorrow pulses in his gut.

sanghyuk opens his eyes again, and he stares.

no longer does taekwoon look like an alpha, powerful and commanding; he’s curled in on himself, broad shoulders looking slimmer, and he avoids sanghyuk’s gaze by staring into his lap. a breath breaks free, soft and wispy and it almost resembles something of a sob. 

“i know you didn’t want this, sanghyuk.” taekwoon’s voice is always soft, but now it’s hardly audible to even sanghyuk’s keen hearing. “i know you didn’t want me as your mate. i know. and i’m sorry. i didn't realise the bond would react even after so long, but that doesn't deny the fact that i shouldn't have kissed you.” taekwoon sounds so despondent and he looks absolutely crestfallen, shoulders slumped. his voice is filled with acceptance, too, like he truly believes that sanghyuk doesn't love him. 

but sanghyuk wants to shake his head. he wants to jolt forward and tell taekwoon no, that he’s wrong. 

taekwoon is right about many things but not about this. he should have kissed sanghyuk. he should kiss sanghyuk again. and again and again. sanghyuk wants to tell him.

but sanghyuk stays still; sanghyuk stays silent. sanghyuk stays in his place like a good little wolf.

taekwoon breathes again, and this time it’s shaking beyond repair, everything about him is, really. “i’m sorry. i shouldn’t have chased after you. i should have let you go. go and love someone who you want. someone you chose. but i was selfish, and i wanted you for myself.” when he looks up at sanghyuk, his are eyes shining, glazed over with tears yet to fall, and the younger’s heart shatters inside his chest. “none of this is fair, sanghyuk, lest of all on you. i made you run. i made you so damn scared and i hate myself for it.” 

taekwoon begins to rise up from sanghyuk’s side, and it’s with a shake of his head and a forceful, “no.” that taekwoon freezes. 

if it were a normal situation, sanghyuk wouldn't dare speak to an alpha in the tone he does, but taekwoon is hardly a normal situation. 

“you’re wrong, taekwoon. so wrong. i…” sanghyuk looses his voice completely, because, really, he’s fucking terrified. he wasn't before, not before they discovered they were mates—not before all of this mess—but now he is. “i wanted you for so long, taekwoon, you have no idea. and when you kissed me it was the best thing i’ve ever felt in my life. but the idea that you wouldn't want me back… that was what made me run. not you. never you. just the possibility of loosing you.”  
taekwoon’s looking down, facing the mattress, but his gaze slides up slowly, and he meets sanghyuk there. the younger feels a surge of confidence push through him, because it’s now or never. he can deal with the consequences later, whatever they are. 

the deep breath sanghyuk takes seems to echo in the air, and all of a sudden, he feels boxed in, cornered like an animal and pinned down by taekwoon’s sharp eyes on his. “i suppose i knew i was in love then, because the idea that i’d lost you was something that made me feel sick.” 

for a few moments, everything halts, both of them scared to silence. 

until the mattress shifts as taekwoon inches closer up the bed, and sanghyuk snaps to attention. the alpha’s eyes are big and bright and he looks like a pup who’s only just discovered the moon. sanghyuk wonders how someone so intimidating can look so cute, a flutter bursting through his heart.

“you—”

“love you?” sanghyuk finishes, a smile tugging at his lips as he inclines his head.

disbelief is still written across taekwoon’s features, his brow cocked. “really?”  
“yeah, really.”

taekwoon smiles too, embarrassment lacing his movements as he moves back up the bed, and the soft blush that claims his face is one of the reasons why sanghyuk fell in love with him.

“when?” taekwoon says, fingers returning to hold sanghyuk’s. “when did you know. that you loved me.”

the clarification is hardly needed, and sanghyuk blushes too.

“a few weeks ago.” he feels like an idiot, but taekwoon is staring at him like he’s the only thing in his world, and it’s the single most reassuring thing sanghyuk’s ever felt in his life. “you’re kind of easy to fall for, taekwoon.”

he smiles, and sanghyuk doesn’t actually notice how much taekwoon has creeped up until the alpha is practically hovering. their noses almost brush. sanghyuk feels an urge to tug taekwoon down to his level, but his hands aren't free, and taekwoon is only just out of reach of sanghyuk’s lips.

“why did you run then?” 

“because i was fucking terrified,” sanghyuk replies, honestly. “i was terrified of my feelings for you, terrified of how you would feel about my feelings for you, and it seemed easier to avoid you then face the possible rejection.”  
sanghyuk’s arm is still warm even when taekwoon lets it go, bringing his palm up to cup sanghyuk’s jaw. “oh, hyukkie, you do remember that it was me who kissed you, don’t you?”

taekwoon’s lilting voice and soft resounding chuckle is music to sanghyuk’s ears. 

“well then why don’t you make it up to me by kissing me now?” it’s a tease, half-hearted, yet taekwoon takes it completely seriously (just like sanghyuk wants him too) and leans down a little to meet sanghyuk halfway.

his lips are warm, soft and perfect in every single way and so many things erupt in sanghyuk’s stomach that for a moment he almost thinks he’s having a heart attack. his wolf romps happily around, yipping, and sanghyuk flushes with heat when taekwoon breaks away a few seconds later.

“sanghyuk,” taekwoon presses, voice soft and all kinds of breathless, and it’s crazy to sanghyuk because he’s breathes too, “you’re sure about this?”

sanghyuk hears the whine leave his mouth, and it’s the single most embarrassing thing he’s ever heard come from his own lips, but arousal is pulsing low in his gut and he’ll do just about anything for taekwoon’s lips right about now. “yes. yes, i’m sure. i’ve never been sure of anything more in my life.” 

he moves his free hand up (the uninjured one, thank god), and buries it in taekwoon’s hair, right at the back of his neck.

sanghyuk’s mind is a litany of please, please, please, and he wonders if taekwoon can hear his begging.

the alpha smiles, indulging sanghyuk and his illusion of control, and kisses him.

it’s more heated than the last, which was chaste and small—a simple press of lips. this one involves taekwoon’s tongue, sweeping expertly across sanghyuk’s lips and teeth and into his mouth. sanghyuk feels himself go pliant underneath the older, rapidly loosing his senses to taekwoon’s touch.

he’s never felt more alive.

grappling on for dear life from the cliff he's slipping off, sanghyuk tugs sharply at taekwoon’s hair, and the moan he earns rumbles inside sanghyuk as much as it does taekwoon.

instinctively, his hips thrust up, and they meet nothing but air, taekwoon still hovering over the side of the bed. sanghyuk growls low in his throat, and taekwoon stops for a second, giving the younger the upper hand. he uses the hand fisted in the elders hair to pull taekwoon onto the bed and on top of sanghyuk so he’s straddling his thighs.

taekwoon pulls back, casting a worried look over sanghyuk’s body. “you’re still hurt.”

sanghyuk sighs, like a petulant teenager, and really, he isn't anything much more. “i don’t care.”

taekwoon leans down to kiss him once more, and smiles. sanghyuk is well aware that if he wants, he can tell sanghyuk no and that will be the end of it. he doesn’t. “i care, you idiot. the reason you’re hurt is my fault anyway, and i’m certainly not fucking you in the guest bedroom of hakyeon’s parent’s lake-house with the rest of them downstairs.”

his bluntness renders sanghyuk speechless. he’s never heard his hyung swear before, and taekwoon seemed the type too soft to use swear words. suppose not. the rest of the sentence catches sanghyuk’s attention, too.

“we’re still at the lake-house?”

taekwoon nods, and sanghyuk is only just aware of his weight on his hips as the older moves to make it more comfortable. “after you fell and knocked yourself out, it took me almost an hour to carry you back here. i was so scared that something worse had happened to you, but hakyeon and hongbin helped me get you into bed and bandage you up. he was less drunk than i was.”

sanghyuk nods, and the idea of a drunk taekwoon is something he is curious to see. “does hongbin know i stayed the night?” 

if he’s honest, he’d forgotten all about hongbin, but what hongbin didn't know couldn't hurt him.

“if i’m not mistaken, he stayed here, as well.” taekwoon’s face scrunches as he attempts to remember, and it’s quite possibly one of the cutest things sanghyuk’s ever seen. “with jaehwan and wonshik, too. after hakyeon and hongbin left us both up here i’m pretty sure they all left for the bonfire with the remaining bottles of alcohol.” 

fear strikes a chord in sanghyuk’s gut, and they share a horrified gaze, knowing their friends well enough to trust that combing alcohol and fire and each other is possibly the most dangerous situation they could place themselves in.

taekwoon shifts himself off of sanghyuk’s thighs and the bed and quickly makes his way to the door, but freezes when sanghyuk attempts to follow. he spins around, and looks very much like the alpha he is, staring sanghyuk down like he’s scolding a child. 

“you’re hurt, hyuk-ah,” he says, voice soft but firm and sanghyuk can’t avoid the command in his tone. he walks back to the bed, sanghyuk half out of the covers, and taekwoon leans over the edge of it, smirking a little before his lips meet sanghyuk’s.

it’s easy to let taekwoon win, almost too easy, sanghyuk thinks for a fleeting moment before the arousal is back and pumping through him and overriding everything else is the want to just beg for it. 

taekwoon’s fingers push sanghyuk back down onto the mattress and for a second he truly believes that taekwoon is indulging him, but those fingers are pulling up the covers and tucking sanghyuk in and he realises that taekwoon’s lips are simply a distraction. 

and, damn, does it work.

“no fair,” sanghyuk whines when taekwoon pulls away.

the alpha smiles, mischief twilling in his golden gaze. “stay.”

taekwoon rises slowly from the bed, leaving sanghyuk buried under blankets like a burrito, and he gives him one final smile before he twists open the door and leaves.

his wolf whines inside his head, pawing again, but sanghyuk reassures that taekwoon won’t be leaving them anytime soon.


End file.
